An ecumenical interfaith service, Holding the Light, has been held in Melbourne to remember victims and survivors of domestic and family violence. At this service, a bell tolled for each woman known to have been murdered by a perpetrator of violence. It is this reality that impels Sr Nicole Rotaru RSM, an experienced and passionate advocate, to shine a light on the devastating impact of domestic and family violence, reports Melbourne Catholic.
At the November 30 ecumenical service, Sr Nicole, a Mercy sister for 49 years, shared art works and stories from children who have been impacted by domestic and family violence. Through her years of ministry in this area, Sr Nicole has learnt that “Children say it as it is. Their stories are uncluttered and reveal the trauma of living within an environment of domestic and family violence.”
Sr Nicole Rotaru RSM gives a ‘Shining a Light’ workshop in Victoria. PHOTO: Fiona Basile/Melbourne Catholic.
Not only has Sr Nicole walked alongside women and children impacted by family and domestic violence, but she also assists parish communities and community organisations to understand that we all have a role to play in reflecting on our own behaviours, helping them to break the silence around the horrific reality of violence that exists in many homes around us.
“Violence is a deep-seated issue in our Australian community and in other parts of the world,’ she says. “And though government bodies and other bodies and organisations have been very proactive, the violence remains. In fact, some would argue that it has gotten worse in these past years.”
While Sr Nicole’s ministry to those affected by domestic and family violence involves many subtleties and layers, it is clear that “children take in what they see in their home. They watch how their parents relate to each other. They model what they see,” she says.
“Domestic and family violence bring about trauma. The seeds of violence are planted at a young age and acted out in relationships. Unattended trauma unleashes into wild unfettered violence. Unattended trauma is passed on from one generation to another.”
Shining a Light workshop in Sale Diocese. PHOTO: Fiona Basile/Melbourne Catholic.
Sr Nicole’s ministry in domestic and family violence is informed by her own experiences of trauma, ongoing self-reflection, formal studies (including a bachelor of arts at La Trobe University, a diploma of secondary education from Mercy Teachers’ College, a bachelor of social work from the University of Melbourne, a master of arts in experiential and creative arts and a graduate diploma in professional supervision from the University of Divinity) and reflection on the experiences shared with her by the many women, men and children she has worked with over 40 years. While she listens, she has also been “ministered to”, she says. “The women, men and children have taught me. It’s not about me; it’s about us.”
Sr Nicole brought these different learnings with her into workshops she facilitated for several years with the St Vincent de Paul Society. The workshops were called Breaking the Silence and helped the SVDP members better understand what domestic and family violence is, what the drivers are, how to respond to the people they served and where to refer someone for further help. She has also facilitated similar workshops with local organisations such as Catholic Social Services Victoria and the Diocese of Sale, giving participants a deeper insight into the realities of domestic and family violence, and how to have a careful conversation with a person living within a violent situation.
“We are all called to a transformation of respect for ourselves and for one another,’ she says. ‘Governments are called to further action to stop the violence. Each one of us is called to stop the violence in our thinking and in our behaviour.”
This is an abridged form of an article by Fiona Basile, published in Melbourne Catholic.